The Moment I Knew
by Rigella
Summary: Late at night, James tries to pinpoint when it was that he first realised he loved Lily. When was the moment he knew? One-shot. Reveiws are love.


**Title:** The Moment I Knew

**Author:** Rigella

**Rating:** PG for implications.

**Pairing:** Lily/James

**Summary:** Late at night, James tries to pinpoint the moment he first knew he loved Lily. One-shot.

**Author's notes:** This is just a random oneshot I wrote while in the car heading home from the coast this holidays. I liked it, so I thought I'd post it. As always, please R&R. Maybe I'll have inspiration for a sequel? Don't ask where the inspiration for this one came from (I don't think I've done this pairing before at all), coz I really don't have a clue…

Enjoy!

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**The Moment I Knew**

When is the point you realise you're in love? When does that moment come, the moment you know you can't live without this person, this man or woman who makes you complete?

When was it for me?

Was it all the way back in third year, when I first saw her – **_really_** saw her – and thought, as Siri would say, that she was a "bit of alright"?

Was it the first time she refused me, when I told myself she was playing hard-to-get?

Was it the first time that, when she insulted me, I felt a sensation in my chest like I'd just been hit with the darkest of curses?

Or maybe it was the time that she called me arrogant, cruel and heartless, and for the first time, I realised she was right.

Well, except for the heartless part: I knew I had a heart, because I could feel it almost breaking as the words fell from her lips.

I remember sitting a few rows from her during the O.W.L.s, just staring at her; the way her hair shone in the sunlight streaming through the windows, the way her beautiful eyes laughed, deep emerald pools shrouded in mystery, as a smile played across her perfect lips – the lips I so badly wanted to kiss. I wanted to change, to be better, so that I could be worthy of her.

Maybe **_that_** was when I knew I was in love?

By then I had long since memorised her features. I knew she was beautiful, but I'll never forget the day that something in her changed too, and she did something she'd never done before that – she smiled at **_me_**.

Was that the moment?

I remember being so stunned, caught in the bliss of her smile, my mind blank of all emotion – or maybe all but two… I was so captivated that I asked her out again.

I'll never forget the thrill of ecstasy that went through me as, for the first time ever, she finally said yes.

Was that the moment? Was that the moment I knew?

Was it on our first date – that last Hogsmede trip in our sixth year, when I bought her a Sugar Cloud from Honeydukes, and she let me hold her hand? Was it lying beside us in the grass, when we watched the first stars appear in the pink-and-gold sky as the sun went down? Was it our first kiss?

Was it trading secrets in the common room after curfew, or holding hands beneath the table in the Great Hall, our knees touching as we tried not to giggle like children and give ourselves away?

Was it in our teary goodbye at the station, her standing on the platform kissing me as we left for the holidays, or in the three months I spent missing her and seeing her face in my dreams?

Was it somewhere in the apparent hailstorm of owls we sent each other that summer, or in the moment our eyes met again on the platform?

Could the 'moment' be founding the empty carriage on the train that we locked ourselves in, where she took my hand and backed me against the wall? Maybe it was hiding beneath the leather seat we lay upon, our bodies entwined, holding one another close, my breath heavy on her neck as I stroked her hair back from her face.

Maybe it was on our last day at Hogwarts, as she stood in my arms, tears in her eyes, and whispered, "James, don't leave me, I'm sorry, but I need to be with you…" and I replied, without thought or hesitation, " I love you, Lily; marry me and we'll never have to be apart…" and she screamed in radiant joy and leapt up, throwing her arms around my neck.

Surely I had found it long before that day when I stood beside her and spoke the words for all the world to hear, when, at scarcely twenty, I put the ring on her finger, and kissed her, and she became Mrs Lily Potter. Long before our honeymoon, surely, before we made love for the first time, before that day, only months ago, when she told me the news…

I slip my arms around her, remembering the way that, yesterday, I placed my hands on her belly and felt the child inside her – our child – kick against my palms.

And you know what? So maybe I can't tell you the exact moment that I fell for Lily, or the exact moment that I knew it was her I wanted to spend my life with.

But as I lie here now with my wife and child asleep in my arms, I realise that the timing doesn't matter – only, that the moment was there.

And what matters most is that, regardless of when I **_first_** knew that I loved Lily, right now, holding her close…

I still do.


End file.
